The Long Way Back
by RainbowKiss
Summary: COMPLETED! What could be more painful than being left alone? What more could be left of a love lost and forgotten? Read and find out. SenRu.
1. Whispers of Evenfall

Chapter 01: Whispers of Evenfall

"_I felt as if I was walking with destiny, and that  
All my past life had been but a preparation  
For this hour and this trial."_

_-- Winston Churchill_

And so it was just another barren day in Akira Sendoh's existence. The dense, arctic wind that signals the end of winter was blowing steadily, and he was on his way home, walking slowly, as if carefully weighing his footing against Kanagawa's cobble-stoned steps. He wore a blank expression on his face, his mind, far, far away from the very reality he is in.

Today's practice was especially tough, as the University Basketball League championship was on its way. As team captain this year, he was expected to give more of his usual excellent performance in the court. He knew that the entire team, and the coach, were all counting on him.

But none of these seemed to matter.

At least, not now, there were more things on his mind, more tangible than basketball. It was then a little after six and more people were starting to fill in the alleys just to get home. Sendoh wondered how many of these people were like him, running their very lives in a stagnant circle.

Another gust of wind blew through him. He thought the wind smelled of lilacs and cherry blossoms, clearly welcoming the spring. His musings drifted him farther away and the basketball ace was just about to cross the street.

After a few moments' disillusion, there were screeching tires and a car just blared its horn loud enough for Sendoh to be snapped out of his trance. He turned his head to his right and immediately realized that the car halted into a stop just a few inches away from him. He made a small step backward while squinting his eyes to shield them from the car's glaring fog lights.

"Watch it, you idiot!" the driver roared first before continuing. Sendoh, on the other hand, remained glued to the ground, too stunned to speak nor to defend himself. For another split-second, he thought it would me much better if the car had just snuffed the life out of him. But he quickly dismissed the idea. "Suppose he came back and found out that I just—" he never had the effort to supply the word died in the end—"No, that can't happen. He'll have to find me." With this, Sendoh forced himself to

"Watch it, you idiot!" the driver roared first before continuing. Sendoh, on the other hand, remained glued to the ground, too stunned to speak nor to defend himself. For another split-second, he thought it would me much better if the car had just snuffed the life out of him. But he quickly dismissed the idea. "Suppose he came back and found out that I just—" he never had the effort to supply the word died in the end—"No, that can't happen. He'll have to find me." With this, Sendoh forced himself to think straight for a while, at least until he safely crossed the street and board the train.

It was a while later when Sendoh heard the train's intercom announce its arrival in Hakone Station. He stood up, gathered his belongings and walked towards the exit. As he was just stepping out, a force unknown compelled him to tilt his head sideways, therefore, seeing what his very core had been yearning, in all these years.

Reality escaped as his heart began to accelerate when he saw Kaede Rukawa on that crowd of passengers eager to board the train. His instincts told him to go after the man but with too many people on rush hour, it was simply impossible. "Rukawa!" Sendoh shouted desperately but the message did not reach its intended destination. Years of playing basketball had taught him to make his way swiftly across the least amount of spaces yet, at this point, his efforts were futile; the automatic doors of the train just closed even before he can ever get near.

The ace walked the rest of his way home, dazed and restless.

"How could it be?" he contemplated, "…If he's actually here, he should have told me, right?" trails of confusion circled around his head until he reached his abode. "Guess, I've been missing you so much, Kaede." He said loudly, trying to convince himself. It had been three years and half a lifetime since Rukawa left. After 5 or 6 letters from the latter, Sendoh had never heard from him again.

With a sudden urge to get hold of a pen and paper, Sendoh began scribbling another correspondence to Rukawa, though he was more than doubtful that, like all the others, it could ever trigger a response from its receiver.

It was a while later when Sendoh heard the train's intercom announce its arrival in Hakone Station. He stood up, gathered his belongings and walked towards the exit. As he was just stepping out, a force unknown compelled him to tilt his head sideways, therefore, seeing what his very core had been yearning, in all these years.

Reality escaped as his heart began to accelerate when he saw Kaede Rukawa on that crowd of passengers eager to board the train. His instincts told him to go after the man but with too many people on rush hour, it was simply impossible. "Rukawa!" Sendoh shouted desperately but the message did not reach its intended destination. Years of playing basketball had taught him to make his way swiftly across the least amount of spaces yet, at this point, his efforts were futile; the automatic doors of the train just closed even before he can ever get near.

The ace walked the rest of his way home, dazed and restless.

"How could it be?" he contemplated, "…If he's actually here, he should have told me, right?" trails of confusion circled around his head until he reached his abode. "Guess, I've been missing you so much, Kaede." He said loudly, trying to convince himself. It had been three years and half a lifetime since Rukawa left. After 5 or 6 letters from the latter, Sendoh had never heard from him again.

With a sudden urge to get hold of a pen and paper, Sendoh began scribbling another correspondence to Rukawa, though he was more than doubtful that, like all the others, it could ever trigger a response from its receiver.


	2. Frozen in Time

Disclaimer: Slam Dunk and all its characters belong to Inoue Takehiko.

Chapter 2: Frozen in Time

_In secret we met, in silence I grieve;  
__That thy heart could forget, thy spirit deceive.  
__If I should meet thee, after long years,  
__How should I greet thee? With silence and tears._

_-Lord Byron_

For quite some time, Sendoh caught himself staring at the blank sheet of paper lying on top of his desk. He could not exactly understand why his literature professor had sadistically forced him to write a two-page essay for coming late into class. Why? It's better late than never. He just overslept last night. And to think, arriving late was just a Sendoh thing to do.

He gently massaged his forehead with the tips of his fingers hoping that something, or anything would pop inside his head. Too bad, Mr. Ace player never liked literature, or even just a tiny bit of it. He finds 'self-expression and honest sentiment through arrangement of words' boring and too personal to share. He's far more interested in finding unknowns in an equation and solving equalities. Math was the only subject he had no trouble passing. He remembered explaining it to Rukawa once.

"_You know, Rukawa, you just can't avoid math especially when you want to live a good, old life." _

"_Right. And you sounded like my Algebra teacher." The hard-headed Rukawa put in. "I can still win my games without learning those equations,"_

"_Then you wouldn't know how many points you still have to make for you to outplay your opponent." Sendoh explained as a matter-of-factly, trying to make his point sink in._

_Nothing was heard from the other except for a "Hn" which in the Kitsune's term had technically meant, "Okay, I surrender."_

Sendoh smiled at the memory. Rukawa was no good in school. But he knew he'll be thrown out of Shohoku's basketball team if he doesn't get good grades. That was why he enlisted the Ryonan tensai's help. The only thing that mattered to Rukawa then, was his games. Sendoh shared the same notion, too. Both of them were literally married to basketball.

Until they found each other.

Sendoh let out a heavy sigh. _"For how long do you intend to make me wait, Kaede?" _He asked the screaming silence of his room. Anxiety and Nostalgia. Those were the emotions he has been fighting with since Rukawa had stopped communicating with him. Sendoh had tried everything he could to reach him. He phoned his school several times to check on his beloved but they said that he dropped out of school years ago. He also tried searching for Rukawa's relatives in Japan but none of them could give him the information he wanted. Sendoh can only conclude something must have happened. Rukawa would not just throw him aside like a torn rag doll. He wasn't suppose to put everything away, everything they shared. Sendoh, however,had remained faithful to him. Up until now, the Shohoku ace was the only recipient of his love. Despite the loneliness, Sendoh didn't even dare to betray Rukawa for short-lived pleasure. He knew better than that. But he also knew he is gradually losing to misery. If not only for basketball, he could have died long ago. Rukawa definitely had a lot of explaining to do. And it'd better be good. _That is, when he gets back._

The tormented lad notice the clock hanging on the wall and realized that he's getting nowhere with his literature assignment. He still need a few more hours sitting on that chair and he hadn't had a bite since lunch. With that, he stood up to get the phone.

"Hello, uh, Suboshi's Pizza, right?" Though he knew the answer to that question, he wanted to make sure.

"…Yeah…the usual Super beef and veggies, family size… Hope you can make it here as soon as you can. I'm super hungry." A click, then he hung up. He sat back on his chair to work again on his paper.

After two minutes, the doorbell rang. Sendoh never expected the pizza man to be this _soon_. He stood and began searching for his wallet which must be hidden somewhere inside his bag.

He was midway before he could reach the end of the stairs when another ring broke the stillness of his house. "Coming!" Sendoh answered, while taking out a few bills from his wallet. _"Boy, the pizza man must be in a hurry."_ Sendoh held the knob and slowly unlocked the door.

The intense surge of conflicting emotions left Sendoh too vulnerable for an infinite moment. Pain, doubt, joy, and longing filled him as he held open the door and set his eyes on the man. In another quick instant, they held each other's gaze, pairs of eyes searching through the other's soul for answers. Finally, Sendoh could wait no longer.

"Kaede," That was all Sendoh could utter as he wrapped his arms around Rukawa. On the other hand, Rukawa only stood as stiff as cardboard while slowly realizing what his companion was doing. "S-Sendoh," he called back, then brought an arm to give the other a half-hug.

"_Only a half-hug,"_ the ace, who used to don a white-and-blue jersey, thought. _"And he called me Sendoh," _it dawned on him, loosening his embrace. But that didn't matter, anyway. The waiting's over now. Kaede is here.

"Why don't you come in?" Sendoh offered cheerfully.

"We can talk outside," Rukawa suggested, and when he saw a shift in Sendoh's expression, he hastily added, "While walking around."

"Right." The spike-haired man agreed. "Hold on a sec, I'll put on my sweat shirt." He went immediately inside, the thought of hunger and the pizza man who must be on his way, completely forgotten.

"How long have you been here?" Sendoh asked excitedly.

"I arrived three days ago."

"That was why I saw you on the train station the other day," Sendoh told him, with a blissful smile. Rukawa only wondered what he is talking about.

"You staying at your old house?" Sendoh asked again.

"Yeah."

There was silence again and Sendoh racked his brain for something more to say.

Rukawa was having a hard time gathering his senses. He thought his coming back to Japan would somehow ease the burden he felt but he was still living his life in nowhere, with strange faces and places greeting him wherever he looked. And Sendoh, this Sendoh guy standing close was making him uncomfortable. It would be so much difficult to see his happy countenance be shattered to pieces with what he is going to tell him. And how on earth will he make him understand? Where exactly will he begin?

"Kaede," the soft sound of his name pulled him out of his agony. "Tell me about America," Sendoh eagerly looked at Rukawa's face, obviously determined to push the dead air away. He noticed how Rukawa had changed. What he used to know as the super rookie was much taller, his hair a little longer on the sides, his shoulders a little broader. Maturity was painted on his face and he lost much of his Japanese tan. Moreover, Sendoh noticed that Rukawa was feigning distraction. He could only take so much of his silence. But he'll just have to wait until he tell him.

"America's fine." Was Rukawa's only short reply. He scanned his surroundings than turned his head toward Sendoh again. "Why don't you tell me what's been changed since I've left?"

"Nothing much has changed." Sendoh said after inhaling the soft, afternoon breeze. "Everyone we used to know moved out of town after graduation…"

They finally reached the bridge that overlooked downtown Kanagawa on one side and the ocean on the other. The sun was beginning to dip itself halfway far across the sea, the waters illuminating with vibrant hues of oranges and purples. The two stopped to look at the glorious imagery before them. Then Sendoh broke, "Do you often miss the sunset when you were in the States, Kaede? We used to stand beside each other like this before you left, remember?"

Rukawa was at a loss for words as he turned his head away from the ocean to looked at Sendoh who was fervently anticipating his answer. Knowing that the time has come, Rukawa looked away with guilt.

At that, Sendoh felt unusually rigid, with a cold sensation slowly making its way up his spine. "Kaede, what's wrong?" he heard himself say, while also bracing himself for the unexpected.

Another chilling silence passed. "There's something you need to know," Rukawa finally found the tenacity to speak his mind. He'll have to do this. There is no turning back now.

"When I was in the US, a group of boys, probably varsity members of my school's basketball team, waylaid me one night and beat me to death.People said the beating was so bad, I could've died if not only for the custodian who saw me and took me to the hospital."

Sendoh forced himself to stay clam by looking at Rukawa straight in the eye while his already unsteady hands try to find solace inside his pockets.

"I woke up in the hospital knowing nothing after two weeks of being in a coma. You see, I recuperated in two month's time but without paying for a huge price. I regained my strength easily in exchange for my memory." He heard Sendoh gasp at the last statement. "I had amnesia. And up to now, I could not remember a single detail of my past."

"_I could not remember a single detail of my past." _Rukawa's words kept repeating inside Sendoh's head as more questions clouded his mind. "But you're here!—you found me!" Sendoh somehow managed to say despite the confusion.

"The letters you've sent. I used them to find you," came Rukawa's sensible answer. By now, everything was coming to Sendoh crystal clear as to why Rukawa had suddenly stopped answering his letters, why he called him not on his first name and why he only gave him a half-hug. But he still didn't know where thiswas heading.

"So what do we do now?" Sendoh asked, his voice weak.

"I-I don't know…I guess we got to move on with our lives and leave everything as it is."

Those final words felt like daggers propelled directly into Sendoh's heart and he suddenly felt unbelievably tired.

"_You mean, leave it all behind?" _Sendoh echoed, still trying to make something out of Rukawa's avowal. _"After all the years I've waited, is this what you're going to tell me? That you want to just throw everything away and call it quits, is that what you want?" _He wanted to lash out at his companion but he fought the urge to do so.

Rukawa saw pain in Sendoh's black-blue eyes and felt guilt ravenously chewing up his insides. "The doctors told me to wait…But three years had been too long…" his voice trailed off. "I'm sorry. I just want to settle everything with you before I fly back to the US in a month." He saw Sendoh blinking back tears. "I'm not only doing this for me. You and I—We can't go on like this." Rukawa reasoned.

More tears clouded Sendoh's vision and he decided that he already had enough. He shook his head in mere protest and commanded himself to talk but no words came out from his lips. Rukawa already gave the verdict and he was only left to comply. Without further ado, Sendoh turned on his heels and ran back to his house not caring for once what Rukawa would still have to say.

The raven felt the urgency of the situation. "Sendoh," he called, while on the act of coming after Sendoh until he realized another grave mistake. "Akira—"

But Sendoh never dared to look back.

* * *

Author's Note: 

Thank you so much for taking your time. Please do a review. Thank you again. I'm done with the exams so I can now proceed with the other chapters. I hope you will bear with me.

Much, much thanks,

Lady in Blue


	3. Down the Memory Lane

Chapter 03:

Down the Memory Lane

_When I go the distance, I'll be where I belong._  
_Down an unknown road to embrace my fate,_  
_Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you._  
_And a thousand years will be worth the wait_  
_It might take a lifetime but I'll see it through._  
_And I won't look back, I can go the distance._

_--Michael Bolton (Go the Distance)_

"Kaede Rukawa—"

The raven scanned the room to find out whose voice was calling his name.

"Kaede," a small, childlike voice repeated, but Rukawa could see nothing but concrete walls painted in white. It later occurred to him that he was standing in the middle of a long and narrow corridor with the walls rising as far as his eyes could see.

"Rukawa!" This time, a high-pitched feminine voice called.

"Who's there?" he asked in alarm, but the voices did not answer him back. He walked forward to see where the corridor would lead but he still could not perceive anything other than the infinite whiteness of the place. More voices chanted his name, this time coming from different directions, as if their owners were just hovering nearby.

"Where are you?" Rukawa inquired again, a tinge of fear evident from his voice. Suddenly, a beam of light blinded him and he could only bring his hands to his eyes to shield them from the light's menacing brightness.

"Look here, Rukawa," someone called again but Rukawa could not lower down his hands to see who it was.

"I c-can't. The light's too bright," he replied almost inaudibly. Then he heard the sound of a door being slammed shut and the bright light disappeared, only to be replaced by a loud, thunderous laughter.

He turned to look at his back then his throat went dry and his eyes grew wide open at what he saw. There were about six men coming towards him, each of them carrying wooden rods, ready to attack him. Instincts told him to rush towards the door for dear life but to his horror, the door was locked from the other side. He glanced again at his back and saw his aggressors, their faces showing no mercy. In sheer panic, Rukawa summoned all the strength he could possibly muster. He slammed his body against the door but it didn't even budge.

"Open this goddam door!" Rukawa was pounding hard, while screaming on top of his lungs, but it was too late; his attackers were already hitting him with all their might.

o O o

Rukawa opened his eyes in the dark and felt goose bumps protruding from his flesh. He woke up catching his breath, his shirt drenched with sweat, his whole physique still embracing the surrealness of the dream. He got up and wiped the cold perspiration that beaded his forehead. That was just it. He survived another ghastly nightmare. He turned the lampshade on to check on the digital alarm clock sitting peacefully at his bedside table. 4:30 am.

"_Good. Just good." _He thought irritably, after sitting himself on the floor, his back against the side of his bed. He wondered how he could go on like this forever, living a life of a nobody, his identity a question to the world. Even sleep denied him of tranquility he could comfortably indulge. Rukawa shook his head. He had long since given up hope that his memory would come back even before his therapies had ended. He could have confronted the days without much difficulty head on, if not for the nightmares that had been frequently haunting him. Maybe coming back to Japan had been a wrong decision. Nothing much was happening, except for the birth of another burden that was Sendoh.

He remembered his meeting with him yesterday, the surprise, the excitement, and his warm smiles, all shredded to pieces by what Rukawa, himself had revealed. Rukawa knew for sure the pain that he had inflicted upon the other guy but could not do anything about it. He just could not "feel" for him even after they saw each other face to face. Sendoh was just another stranger, a part of the past he barely knew, and everything they had must be left untouched. He's got to understand that. But perhaps Sendoh already did and would not wish to see Rukawa's face again. All for the better. At least, it took away some portion of the guilt he had to deal with for the rest of his damned life.

o O o

Sendoh never imagined himself treading this unfamiliar path with a weary feeling. Except for some new houses and a few trees here and there, everything was still the same compared to what it looked like some years back. As he came nearer and nearer to his destination, each step was becoming a tiresome effort, but he knew he cannot just chicken out and ran away again. He let out a heavy sigh, hoping that everything would work out fine as soon as he got into Rukawa's house.

After cogitating every action and possibility, Sendoh decided to skip practice today despite the consequences. Now that their relationship was hanging languidly in the balance, Sendoh realized that he need not ask questions anymore, he'll just have to make the most of his time. Basketball could wait; he'll just deal with his coach later.

The house seemed empty by the time he got there and he found himself sighing again for the millionth time in the past 5 minutes, if that was at all possible. He made his way gingerly on the front steps ready to knock on the door. Surprisingly, Rukawa opened the door before it could ever graze Sendoh's skin. Astonishment is manifested on both their faces, and neither of the two had been able to say something. Sendoh, after swallowing hard, decided to initiate the talk. He caught himself before saying "Kaede" again, for he knew this would make Rukawa uncomfortable.

"Hey, Rukawa,"

Rukawa's expression easily shifted from astonished to blank, and Sendoh found it hard to read his thoughts.

"I came here…" he continued nervously, "to apologize about what I did last night. I guess, I got carried away."

"You don't have to," Rukawa returned, a bit taken aback by Sendoh's words.

"Thanks." Sendoh told him and then added, "And Rukawa, I, uh, want you to know, I'll be right here. In case you needed my help."

Rukawa just stood there silently, while letting the words go deeper within. He couldn't believe Sendoh was doing this, when he wasn't exactly to blame, and he came here to offer help without any trace of disappointment, whatsoever from his countenance.

"Well, I wouldn't take much of your time." Sendoh broke, when he thought his waiting for Rukawa to say something was long enough. "I thought you might want to stroll around while I tell you things…but since you're going somewhere else, we'll just do it at some other time."

"We can do it right now, you came in just perfectly." Rukawa declared, somehow appreciative of Sendoh's companionship. Though a little unsure of himself when the words came out, he felt Sendoh had good intentions.

As for Sendoh, all his doubts and fears of what may arise from this confrontation melted into nothingness. He found himself smiling as Rukawa came to his side and had willingly acknowledged his presence and good intentions.

o O o

"…Miyagi and I are attending the same University, he's my co-captain actually, and he told me your Captain Akagi's now a junior partner in a law firm somewhere in Osaka. That sharp-shooter Mitsui's now happily married and he's already playing for the National team…"

Sendoh narrated all these things with much delight to the clueless Rukawa while they were touring Shohoku High School.

"Coach Ansai, I believe, has stopped coaching just a year ago but we occasionally see him on training camps giving speeches, etcetera."

While Sendoh was telling him stories about his high school, Rukawa was mentally taking down notes on whose names he must remember and also imagining what they all looked like in case he run onto some of them while buying groceries. Sendoh had clearly depicted everything and everyone who used to play on that gym and while Rukawa himself could not recall any of these stories, he just enjoyed listening to Sendoh's account of his past.

"Okay, so who else?" Sendoh mused, and slapping his forehead the instant he remembered, he exclaimed, "Sakuragi! How could I ever forget?"

"Sakuragi who?" Rukawa blinked in confusion.

"Hanamichi Sakuragi, the red-head!" Sendoh reported happily.

"Well, what about him?" Rukawa inquired, wondering why this particular redhead was making Sendoh excited.

"Sakuragi was your nemesis back then, Rukawa. You used to tell me he was the jerk that pestered you. I figured he kinda envied your heartthrob status because most of the effeminate race can't help swooning over your talents and good looks and that includes the girl he liked."

"What a shallow jerk," Rukawa commented spitefully.

Sendoh laughed. "He was always trying to outsmart you, Rukawa, calling himself a mighty genius though his talents were nothing compared to yours…he was a basketball newbie then,"

"How conceited!"

"Conceited, yes, and too clumsy, but I personally liked him, He used to be an effective power forward when he started and has constantly improved his skills. You should see him play. He was one of the game's superstars."

"I don't give a damn," Rukawa muttered, obviously not amused. Sendoh could only let out a chuckle to this. Rukawa still perceived Sakuragi as a nuisance and was capable of retaining the sense of hostility towards the redhead.

They passed by the basketball gym and saw the new breed of players doing warm-ups under the Shohoku coach's supervision. Some of the high school students recognized the celebrated basketball star Sendoh and they came to him for a hand shake or even for an autograph. The spiked lad only reacted politely, yet felt a little queasy because he knew Rukawa should be the one receiving this attention, not him. He figured, they haven't recognized this equally deserving basketball star with him since these students looked like they were fresh from junior high and Rukawa had been gone for so long. When Sendoh finally had the chance, he seized the opportunity to pull Rukawa out of Shohoku High School's vicinity.

The twosome walked past Daiiki Street and saw the unsheltered basketball court beside the playground which was about 5 blocks away from Ryonan High.

"This is where we used to play one on one during early Sunday mornings," Sendoh began, when he and Rukawa had stopped walking for a while. "Sometimes, we'd play until both of us had sweat buckets, sometimes, we'd just hang out and talk for a short while then you'd accompany me by the sea and watch me while I'm fishing."

Rukawa gradually closed his eyes and listened intently while forcing his mind to go back and search for his past, the feelings and everything in between that must be buried somewhere within him.

"…At other times, we'd just hang around and talk…" Sendoh went on, unaware of Rukawa's occupation.

But Rukawa, no matter how hard he try, still could not recall any of these.

Sendoh felt the rush of endearing moments coming back to him one by one, very clear and vivid in his thoughts. He felt the hands of time taking him back to the past and he realized there were so much to tell Rukawa, so much to share, and he could only take one at a time.

"Kaede, I have—" Sendoh stopped short, and all the blissful smile died on his lips when he turned to face Rukawa. He could have added "missed you so much" and "come back to me" but it only took him one look to know that this isn't the right place and time to let all his emotions surface.

"What?" Rukawa questioned softly, sensing the impeding tension that threatened to steal the serenity away.

Sendoh averted his gaze in slight panic. "Never mind. Let's just get going." He turned and advanced a few steps ahead of Rukawa. They walked together in silence, each of them lost in his own thoughts, Sendoh, thinking about what could happen if he didn't stop himself in time and Rukawa, caught up with his own pity party as to why he could remember nothing. It later occurred to the former that chance or fate, or whatever it was that allow certain things to happen for a reason, was teasing him.

"The park…" Sendoh stopped in his tracks, learning that his own feet had brought him to that place without much awareness. He looked ahead and saw dozens of cherry blossom trees, with the leaves swaying in concert with the wind, and Sendoh remembered his high school days and felt he was the young Ryonan ace again. A few more distance to clear and it would be impossible for them to miss their favorite spot, a sturdy cherry blossom tree located at the north eastern part of the park. Aside from having a better view of the sunset, they liked it because sitting there provided solace and refuge—silent and comfortable, yet far from the hustle and bustle of the public.

"_How long?" Sendoh dared to ask, knowing very well that the answer would hurt him in every way._

"_Two years, Akira, we'll just have to wait for two years," came in Rukawa's unyielding reply, with absolute sureness._

_They were sitting side by side under the cherry blossom tree, the clear, night sky stretching above their heads and the moon, radiating beautifully in full silver. But everything was betrayed by what Rukawa had just disclosed and Sendoh could not muster any strength to speak an immediate reply._

"_Anything can happen in two years," the Ryonan ace reflected miserably and he thought it fit to cry but he commanded himself not to. Rukawa flinched at the sight and it pained him to see Sendoh in that state._

"_Look at me, Akira," Rukawa pleaded while clasping Sendoh's shoulders. Sendoh hesitantly obeyed and while staring into blue orbs very much like his, he heard Rukawa give his word._

"_After two years, I'll come back…for you… and if you come here after those years, you'll find me, I promise."_

_The darkness of the evening did not hinder Sendoh from looking deep into Rukawa's ocean blue eyes and had known that moment that his beloved will never fail. Without speaking, they held each other tight, none of them willing to let go. Both knew that the moment would be over too soon; and there would only be devotion to hold on to in every effort to stay strong._

This happened three years ago and if Sendoh had only known what would take place after that fateful night in the park, he could have done something to prevent all these from happening. Now, only the sturdy cherry blossom tree, the breeze and full moon had withstood the seasons and remained faithful witnesses to that vow.

"Sendoh," Rukawa called, while walking closer towards his companion. The sudden distance that materialized between them had said it all: Something had bothered Sendoh's thoughts and it was beyond Rukawa's powers to alleviate that distraction. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely, "I'm too disappointing."

Sendoh could only look at Rukawa with a wishful thought that everything they've cherished will return to him soon.

In spite of the difficulty, he managed to put on a sad smile. "Forget it, Everything's fine." He was more than grateful for Rukawa's effort—"Let's just go back."

He wanted so badly to believe everything he said. Sendoh could have seized the chance to bring Rukawa into that cherry blossom tree, embrace him there and feel his warmth around him all over again but without the other half of the vow, it would all seem meaningless if he chose to do that right now. He pondered this deeply and in the end, he decided not to take the risk. He'd rather wait forever than wager with sorrow and frustration.

In Sendoh's hope of hopes, he knew that all of Rukawa will come back in his own, sweet time.

"I will find him there at the right time," Sendoh told himself while treading down the thoroughfare opposite the park. "Then I will know that my Kaede, heart and soul, has truly come back."

* * *

**Author's Note and Shout-out:**

Sorry, for the oh-so-late-update. Hardwork's pourin' non-stop this past few weeks…

I'll update sooner after the exams…bear with me, please. Salamat ng maraming, maraming marami!

The author would like to thank the following people. She should've done this long ago. Sorry, if it came sooo late…but she wishes to make it up to you soo, uh, here goes:

**Rheilin**- ha! Di mo rin akalain? Maka-yaoi na ako! (di pa masyado pero senru fan na ito!) Thanks for dropping by and for taking the time. Mabuti't nahagilap mo si Lady in Blue. Kala ko dina kayo magtatagpo…Salamat daw sa suporta.

**Jam**- Thank you, thank you, thank you! Really, that was so appreciated. I hope you'd still come back for the last 2 parts of this story…

**Lady Tetsu69**- Yeah, I'm a meany (nods head in agreement)…haven't realized that till I've reached the fourth chapter…I know I'm such a bad cheetah (squirms at the mountain dew commercial)…Kaede had read Akira's letters, but um, I guess, he just didn't feel anything! Letters will be elaborated on the next chapter, so uh, hang on! Thank you!

**Shiroi-yume**- Chapters will remain angsty up to the last part. Here's chapter three as promised. Thank you so much!

**White Meteor**- Me and my stupid head! Heck, I didn't know chaps 1 and 2 were the same until you reviewed! Arigato and sorry for the inconvenience!

**Coffeemaverick**- Thank you so much! I really intend to frustrate Aki here. I was hoping I'd be able to accomplish the task.

**Ruji**- Thank you, ruji! Hope you'd maintain the feeling despite the author's lack of wit and sensibility. Thanks again!

**Blufox**- wah! Kaede's got to suffer so both parties (sen and ru) will be blameless for whatever's gonna take place on the latter parts. Thank you, blufox, for dropping by!

**Aki Midori**- Much, much thanks for the compliments! And No, I'm not a member of AkiraKaede ML but if given the chance, I'd accept it right away! BTW, Meltwater was such a nice fansite! Sooo SenRu! More power to you and to the other Mistresses!

I'm so thankful, people! I'd say this again: Thank you for taking your time and for your patience…but I'll be ending this soon so I hope you'd bear with me. Three down and two more to go…Hang on…And uh, I'll review your fics too, as promised. I just need to get over with school work and stuff…I was having a hard time reviewing stories with many chapters because I'm just stealing my time during classes (when the prof's not hovering over my shoulder) but I'm getting there!

Here's a THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.

--Lady in Blue


	4. Pursuit of Yesterday

Chapter 04:

**Pursuit of Yesterday**

_The night has a thousand eyes,  
__And the day but one,  
__Yet the light of a bright world dies  
__With the dying sun.  
__The mind has a thousand eyes,  
__And the heart but one,  
__Yet the light of a whole life dies  
__When love is done._

_--Francis Bourdillion_

The early evening breeze was whispering yet another symphony in his ears, this time, with songs of triumph and jubilation brought about by an hour's worth of heart-stopping ball game.

His team just conquered Hisogana University in a grueling duel for a spot at the final two. And to top it all, he blasted with a whooping 57 points—his career high—in this game alone, assuring him the title of MVP this year.

The mellow sound of chirping crickets provided him solace while he stood alone outside Hisogana's basketball gym. The place was almost deserted and it was getting darker, but he enjoyed standing there, anyway, amused by Kanagawa's street lamps that were gleaming brightly in the neon night.

His friends were surely celebrating somewhere and were most probably making the most of this night before their next mission: to clinch the crown from the defending champion and their biggest rival, Zumiho University.

He knew he must be with his team mates while they reward themselves for a job well-done, but he decided to let this one pass. He wanted something a little less spectacular than their usual celebrations, something simple and well, quiet.

The seconds seemed to tick by slowly but he could just care less about the time nor the fact that he had been standing there for so long. Although tired and a bit hungry, he found the strength to stand there and wait. He was simply elated; any basketball star in his shoes would definitely feel the same way.

He checked his watch before glancing around.

Still, nothing. But that is okay. Nothing could possibly get him down, at least, not tonight.

And so the perfect evening he envisioned was already in his grasp—except for one more thing. Rukawa should have been there 45 minutes ago.

--------

Meanwhile, Rukawa was sitting on the edge of his bed while peering curiously at the cassette tape resting peacefully on his palm. It contained recorded voice instructions, which were supposed to be practiced regularly, as part of his therapy. His psychiatrist had told him to use it whenever a present scenario triggered his mind to revert back to the past.

Something happened today. As he was walking home from the grocery store, his whole world swirled before his eyes and for a few seconds, he had fought hard to maintain his balance. When the dizzying sensation finally stopped, Rukawa felt himself going through a déjà vu—he actually remembered the same street from his vision, with its every little detail and exact replica of a dream he had not very long ago. And as luck would have it, he had run into this certain skinny guy who called himself Hikoichi Aida. He thought he had seen Hikoichi before—his features were all too familiar though Rukawa didn't exactly know where to place them.

He felt the weight of the cassette tape in his hands as he continued to stare down at it. He had grown tired of waiting and had chosen, instead to terminate the therapies and medications because he hadn't seen any sign of progress in his condition after trying so hard for many months.

Yet the tape managed to get into his traveling bag while he was preparing for his trip to Japan. He found the tape but he never gave it much thought until now.

Sighing, the raven shook his head. He couldn't get himself hopeful about this—going through therapies without gaining anything in the end only proved to be a waste of time, if not an oppression of his faith.

_But it might work this time, _a small voice insisted at the back of his mind. Not that he practically lost every sliver of hope left within him, he's just scared to succumb again into that notion of being incomplete, where a huge part of him could never be found. He debated things over and over in his head and then finally, he pulled himself together, inserted the tape in the cassette recorder and pushed the play button.

Closing his eyes, Rukawa took deep breaths while allowing himself to get acquainted to that insipid voice he wished he'd never hear again.

"_Close your eyes and try to leave everything behind, Rukawa" _the recorded voice of his physician started. There was a long pause before the voice continued. _"Just relax and absorb the solitude of your surroundings…"_

"_Now, I want you to imagine yourself entering through a narrow hallway. No one was there butt yourself and there is nothing else that you can see except the white walls that are stretching ahead of you…"_

"_Just relax and walk slowly. Concentrate and focus on the direction you're treading…"_

The voice urged. Everything was going smoothly for Rukawa, so far.

"_You've finally reached the end of the hallway. There is a wooden door in front of you. That door holds the secret to your past…"_

"…_Now, I want you to open that door and go inside…"_

Knowing that his mind had the usual tendency to go blank somewhere at his point, Rukawa could only hope that the therapy would work in his favor this time.

"_It was the night of the attack, Rukawa and you see yourself inside your school's basketball gym, alone." _The physician's voice went on slowly for Rukawa to catch up. _"All your team mates have left and you were practicing your shots. It was way past dinner time but you never cared. You always liked it whenever you're alone inside the gym."_

Rukawa did as what he was instructed to do.

"_You finally felt the urge to go home and call it a day. Then you head for the exit and outside the gym. It's dark and you thought you're alone. Now's your turn, Kaede, to tell me what happened after you stepped out of the gym. What else do you see?"_

Rukawa shut his eyes tighter, his mind scrambling for something to remember. _Something was missing here…I went outside to look for my bike…and what? Slashed tires?_

His senses clenched in confusion as blurry images drifted swiftly, one after another, across his mind.

That was it. The slashed tires.

_Rukawa saw himself bending down to examine his tires in pitch darkness and immediately realized that they were slashed. He had no other choice but to drag it home…_

…_A flash of bright light blinded him. It was from a car. Then he saw several men disembarking from the car, each with wooden rods in their hands. None seemed familiar except for the brawny lad in front who was grinning and snarling like a rabid dog. That guy was the original small forward of their team Rukawa had replaced. The other boys were laughing as they took menacing steps toward him…the guy in front inched closer, then delivered the first blow._

In a second, his vision was overthrown by darkness. The mental picture all disappeared, leaving Rukawa groping in the dark. Unsatisfied, he urged his mind to relieve the last moments in order to reclaim every memory lost. He wanted them all back and he wanted it now. Rukawa tried focusing harder but nothing ever happened.

Ironically, all of Rukawa's efforts were repaid with a sharp, sudden pain through the head. It struck him like lightning, working its way through his forehead down the base of his skull.

He brought his hands instinctively to his temples, while struggling rigorously to uphold his equilibrium. His eyes flew open in frenzy, but to his dismay, they weren't focusing. Rukawa recoiled in tremendous pain, while nausea overtook him. The headache only got worse by the second and he was already fighting for air.

He fell to the floor and was literally trembling. He gathered all his strength to at least carry himself on top of his bed but when he failed to do so, he gnashed his teeth and pulled on his hair; then for one, demented moment he lost control of himself and smashed his head against the full-length mirror hanging close to his bedpost.

"God, Rukawa, what are you doing!" Sendoh shrieked to his horror. What he saw stupefied him; Rukawa was banging his head against the mirror while blood continued to stream down his face, then soaking the front of his shirt.

It was just sheer luck that Sendoh had decided to follow his gut feeling and go all the way into Rukawa's house when the latter just failed to show up at the gym where they were supposed to meet. Sendoh need not think twice about making his way inside the house and barge into Rukawa's room without permission when he heard the clanging of breaking glass from upstairs. Only, he did not expect he'd be in for the greatest surprise of his night.

"Please, Kaede, stop hurting yourself," Sendoh pleaded, rushing right away to Rukawa's side.

"Don't touch me! Just leave me alone!" Rukawa hollered, shoving the other fellow away from him. He had to catch his breath, the pain was still there but his wounds did alleviate some of it. He pounded against the mirror once again as more pieces of glass hit the floor, sending the other man into panic.

Sendoh tried to stop Rukawa but the latter had pushed him again, a little too hard this time. It was quite apparent that Rukawa had chosen to leave himself and go awry; Sendoh completely understood that. He prayed silently for Rukawa. He would've traded anything, _anything _just to ease away his love's torment for he couldn't bear to see _him _in that pitiful state.

"Why can't I remember a single thing, dammit?" Rukawa swore, disappointed and very infuriated with himself.

"Please, Kaede, be patient with yourself. It's just a matter of time before everything comes back..."

"Nothing's coming back, Sendoh, so stop hoping! You're delusional. You don't know what I was going through!" Rukawa yelled. All hell had broken loose within him conjuring up every emotional turmoil suppressed in all these years.

"Don't say that, Rukawa," Sendoh wanted so badly to have him in his arms, as he tried once again to reach for him.

"Go away! You're not a part of me anymore! Get that inside your simple head!" Rukawa spat viciously.

It wasn't for what he had heard that tears began to fill Sendoh's eyes unknowingly. It took a moment's eternity for the pain to register, when he saw sprawled on the floor another being, entirely different from the Kaede he knew. What disturbed him most was that unforgiving look from Rukawa's eyes, a look that seemed to encompass every surge of violent emotion not possibly born until now.

If there were ever a thing he's certain about, it would be that Rukawa had meant every single word he just said. Whatever happens from this point on could only be the birth of his darkest fear yet, as dark as the night that received him on his way back home.

----------------------------------------

For some reason, he knew he would've loved to stay in Kanagawa if it had only been an ordinary place he wasn't familiar with. He liked the serene lifestyle and the peaceful environment the people are savoring in here unlike those all-day-busy streets that were in America.

But why shouldn't he, when this was the place where he grew up?

He continued walking. It seemed whimsical, that he was feeling this way. Maybe it was his only consolation over the fact that he went to Japan to see if he could find something out.

He stopped.

Standing tall in front of him was Shohoku High School. For a short while he remained immovable, his eyes transfixed to the fullness of the building.

He let out a heavy sigh. Then glancing far ahead, he continued treading down the path toward his destination.

_It's okay. All will be settled after this. Then everything will be different from now on._

---------------------------

When he rounded the corner of his street, Sendoh never quite believed his eyes when he was who was standing in front of his house one, lazy afternoon.

It was too obvious that Kaede Rukawa had not been there because he just happened to pass by. And if that was something to be happy about, Sendoh wasn't so sure.

To be honest, Sendoh was still apprehensive to face Rukawa for a confrontation after what had happened when they last met. So much was revealed at that time and he hadn't figure out a way to deal with those, yet.

"How long have you been waiting here, Rukawa?" Sendoh began. He relaxed a little but not too much when he observed that the violent Rukawa from three nights ago was nowhere to be found. He was grateful because Kaede seemed calmer now, though it is too early to tell what's going through his mind, just yet.

"It doesn't matter," Rukawa drew closer, a mask of unyielding firmness was on his face. Without wasting anymore time, he proceeded with what he had to do.

I'm flying back to the States," Rukawa said stoically, "And before that, I want to give these back to you."

Sendoh's heart hammered wildly inside of him as Rukawa took from his jacket pocket a stash of envelopes.

_God, those were my letters!_

"Take it," Rukawa insisted. It was more like a command than a request.

Sendoh was too numb to react and was too confused to comprehend what was happening that it took him a great deal of time before he was able to reach for the envelopes in Rukawa's palm.

Rukawa waited for Sendoh to breakdown or to say something harsh but to the latter's surprise, Sendoh had just remained silent, while hanging his head low.

"I'll be leaving…in three days. I guess that is all you need to know." Then Rukawa turned his back on Sendoh and started walking away.

"Rukawa," he finally heard Sendoh call, after a series of steps. "You won't be coming back for a long while, will you?"

He halted his strides but without turning back, he firmly replied, "No. There's nothing more left for me to do in here."

Sendoh had clearly known what it meant. He could barely believe this was all happening so fast and worst of all, he couldn't believe himself for letting Rukawa go just like that. He remained glued to the spot and could only watch Rukawa drift farther and farther, until he was out of sight. Rukawa was gone, just as swiftly as he came.

While gripping the bundle of envelopes in his hand, Sendoh dropped to his knees. He was suddenly overwhelmed with weakness that he couldn't even bring his thoughts into words.

"I…I'm not gonna cry," he unged himself afterwards. He was only clinging to self control by a hairline.

"I won't cry!"

And with that, he broke down and wept.

------------------------

Rukawa found it strange, that there was one, lone envelope tucked inside the mailbox when he had set out for the usual supply of newspaper on the following morning.

Surprisingly enough, it was a letter addressed for him, but he was even more astonished to discover whom it was from. Akira Sendoh had sent him another letter again. Puzzled, Rukawa noticed two different postal stamps sticking on the envelope. That was when he finally figured that the letter was originally sent to his home in the United States and had only been mailed back to Japan by his relatives who received it there.

He took the letter inside, opened it and began to read the contents. It was only dated two weeks ago, he realized, back on that day when he first arrived in Kanagawa. Rukawa continued on, hoping to find some answers to the questions that were already lurking inside his head.

_My dear Kaede,_

_Things were pretty much difficult without you. Pressure from my coach was more than enough to get everyone so awfully drained, especially now that we're getting closer and closer to the finals._

_Well, today, as I was walking home, I had been thinking of you. Not that it's so unusual but the thought of not having you around still pained me. Yes, even after all these years._

_I was walking by the train station during rush hour and I thought I saw you there, boarding the train. I tried to catch up on you but you were suddenly out of sight. I guess I just want to tell you how much I've been missing you lately._

_Kaede, I won't give up on you. I know you'll come back just as you've said. What are three years, when you're finally back in my arms? You made a promise and I know that you'll be true to your words._

_Love,_

_A.S._

* * *

**Author's Note:**

I finally uploaded! Whew, I really find this chapter very difficult to write. I had to change my mind about some things and would you believe that the manuscript for this chapter was shipped to the US for some unknown reason? That is why I had to rewrite everything and wasn't able to update for a long time. I kinda lost the inspiration for this one, I had to admit, because another senru story was materializing inside my head. But I couldn't bring myself to write another one when I still had something to finish! Ah, yes, I'm so miserable.

Anyway, thank you again for your time. I'll upload the final chapter sooner, hopefully before school starts. Corrections, comments and critiques are all welcome as always.


	5. Love Will Lead You Back

**Chapter 5  
****Love Will Lead You Back**

_Yet the thunder shall not hurt you,  
__Nor the battle storms dismay;  
__Tho' the sun in heaven desert you,  
__Love will find out the way._

_--Alfred Noyes_

"You missed three consecutive jumpers out there, Sendoh! What the hell was wrong with you?" The Coach's voice reverberated loudly in his ears.

It was half-time break and the rest of the team was situated on the bench, some were on the floor, while their coach went on reciting his mid-game harangue. The first half ended with the rival team dominating. It was quite hard to admit that it didn't look good. And by way the coach was lashing out at anyone's mistakes, it didn't seem that he would settle only for a second best knowing that they had gone this far.

"Sendoh, are you listening?"

The Coach wasn't going to let Sendoh get away with his outrageous display of antics earlier. He only contributed the least bit of points for the team when so much was expected of him.

"Yes, coach. I'm sorry." That was all that he could say. The coach paused for a while, somehow realizing that this was hard for his captain as well.

"Look, team. We can't afford to make mistakes—not at this point." The coach softened a bit, scanning the faces of his players to indicate all of them. "I want all of you to work doubly hard out there! We didn't go this far for nothing! Alright, I'll give you three minutes to compose yourselves. Then we'll talk about another game plan."

While the rest of the team had retreated to the lockers, vice-captain Miyagi noticed that Sendoh had remained perched on the bench undisturbed and trapped in a fervid daze. Concerned, he slid into a spot next to Sendoh with a bottle of water to offer.

"Here, buddy," Miyagi urged.

"Thanks." Sendoh acknowledged his presence and began gulping down the liquid.

"You're not playing your best today and Coach had seen that. I also did. Is there anything wrong?"

"I'm fine. There are just a lot of things in my mind lately." Sendoh responded while trying to put on a mask of composed resilience.

Though indirectly stated, Ryota didn't miss the hint. Sendoh was not about to spill his thoughts on whatever that diverted his attention from the game.

"I know the weight's on your shoulder and really, we won't be going this far if not because of you." Miyagi cajoled.

Sendoh felt the sincerity of his co-captain's words. It was quite comforting to know that his teammates were still counting on him despite this frail performance that he just had. He shot a glance at the scoreboard. They were upped by 9 points, 63-54. The rival team was playing the game quite well but anything can happen in two more quarters.

_Focus on the game alone, Akira! People were counting on you and you can't let them down! _Sendoh coaxed himself. It had to be a wake-up call for him to do something before it's too late.

"Miyagi, don't worry about me. I'll never let us lose." Sendoh averred. _I'll never leave it down._

**o O o**

_It was only in his dreams that such a place existed. The forlorn sun was setting dramatically in the west while the sky above his head turned into more severe hues of oranges and purples. It was a sight to behold but even more enticing were the endless lines of cherry blossom trees that seemed to welcome him as he passed them by. He let the wind play upon his hair while the distant songs of the ocean lured him deeper into that cherry blossom haven._

"_Kaede,"_

_Had he just heard Sendoh's voice?_

_Rukawa turned to his heels and as surely as he heard it, Sendoh was there. He had looked more remorseful and more subdued than the last time Rukawa saw him. Unexpectedly, Sendoh drew closer, his eyes never leaving Rukawa's. Then he whispered ever so silently, "How could you ever forget me, Kaede? What about your promise?"_

Then again, it was just another dream.

Rukawa awakened from his deep slumber. He felt a bit lightheaded. Looking around, he realized that he must paled off to sleep while packing his bags for his flight to America tonight. He got himself seated on top of the bed and began thinking things through. Sendoh had never appeared in his dreams before and it somehow stirred something unexplainable within him.

"…I'm making things easier for both of us, Sendoh. What else do you want from me?" Rukawa said out loud to himself.

"_What about your promise?"_

Sendoh's question from his dream was clearly etched in his mind. It felt as though the former were just hovering nearby. Rukawa remembered Sendoh's letter he just received. He took it from his pocket and read it again.

"_You made a promise and I know you'll be true to your words…" _Rukawa concentrated on that part more. He looked away, trying to figure out what could be done on this situation.

_Did I promise to come back for you, Sendoh? But I came back to set you free. You're waiting in vain for that old Kaede to return._

Rukawa shook his head and heaved out a sigh of desperation. _I can't leave like this._

Curiosity got the better of him, anyway. There must be something that he might have missed inside this house, something too valuable or even too memorable that will point the way to his long-forgotten past.

Rukawa got up from where he was and started searching through the closets. There were mattresses, towels, worn out shirts and some old issues of sports magazines but nothing had seemed out of ordinary. He kept glancing around the room until his sight fell on his bed. Yes, he had checked every square inch of that area since the day he stepped into the house except that space beneath the bed.

With his knees on the floor, he quickly bent down to see what he could find in there. His intuition hadn't failed him. He reached underneath the bed and had pulled out a dusty old duffel bag. "SHOHOKU BASKETBALL TEAM" was embroidered in dark, prominent letters but its red and white chromes had faded along with the years.

"Please, God." Rukawa prayed with all his heart. "If ever I needed to find something, please show it to me now…"

Rukawa unzipped the bag and peered through the contents nervously. First, he held out a red Shohoku jersey with black trimmings on the side. Next, he took hold of a small velvet box. Inside was a gold medal labeled, 'Rookie of the Year'.

Rukawa's interest in the bag grew as he continued tinkering with its contents. There were lots of valuable and personal stuff inside but there had been quite a number of completely useless things, too. It seemed that things were shoved inside the bag in some random order. Then it dawned upon him.

_My high school time capsule._

He retrieved an empty soda bottle. _Why have I been keeping an empty soda bottle?_

A vision crossed his mind. _Somebody_ had tossed him this soda bottle.

**O o O**

"_Rukawa!"_

_He was on his way to the lockers where his other teammates were. He didn't need to move any muscle to see who it was, that voice was just too familiar. He ceased walking and turned to face the other guy._

_As soon as he spun around, Sendoh had tossed him an ice-cold lemon flavored soda._

"_Great game, I wish we could have more of that." Sendoh beamed._

_The nail-biting match between Shohoku and Ryonan to determine which team will battle it out with Kainan in the district championships just reached a dramatic conclusion. It was a fight to the finish and Shohoku won by mere points against one of Kanagawa's favorites and strongest team._

"_Congratulations. You really deserve to be with Kainan in the championships." Sendoh continued while looking directly into Rukawa's eyes. The famed Ryonan ace continued to sport that unaffected facade of his, and Rukawa wondered if the anguish of losing hadn't got into him just yet. _

"_Thanks, but I still have to beat you."_

_Sendoh laughed an easy laughter, much to Rukawa's astonishment. The Ryonan ace was not taking him seriously, alright._

"_What's so funny?" the Shohoku freshman spat._

"_Oh, you never stop amusing me, Rukawa Kaede." Sendoh grinned. "One-on-one?"_

That was the soda bottle's history and the countless one-on-one matches that followed. Who would've thought that these two aces will end up as one, adorable couple 5 months later?

**O o O**

Unfortunately, Rukawa remembered nothing of these. He could only vaguely remember that somebody had given him that bottle. He kept rummaging through his old duffel bag, anyhow.

He pulled out another basketball uniform and found himself staring at the print for quite a while. 'Ryonan 7' it read. Surely, this jersey wasn't his.

_Sendoh's jersey. He failed to return the uniform, perhaps?_

He abruptly put down the blue and white jersey and dug his hands inside the bag once again. There were unlabeled CD's, tattered notebooks…

Then another hard object. He nearly gasped. A framed photograph of him and Sendoh.

His gaze remained glued to the photograph while his hand moved unconsciously to touch the glass surface of the frame.

_We must be very happy when this picture was taken. _Rukawa concluded, judging from what he saw on the picture. Sendoh was smiling lovingly in front of the camera, with his right arm draped around Rukawa's neck. Noticeable also was the way the latter had flashed one of his rarest smiles for the sake of the photograph, too, with his head slightly pressed against Sendoh's.

Rukawa couldn't help but sigh. How he wished he could remember! He adjusted the stilt behind the frame before placing it on top of his bedside table.

Crash!

It fell to the floor face down even before his fingers could barely release the object. Rukawa saw that something was scribbled on the back of the frame. He took it back to his hands again without really caring about the tiny pieces of broken glass that might tear on his flesh.

_My Dear Kaede,_

_You may not notice  
__My constant stares  
__May I hold you,  
__Cherish you  
__Forever._

_While you many not feel the same,  
__I shall feel this way  
__Forever.  
__Someday, I will finally tell you  
__Let it all come rushing out  
__My love for you  
__Forever._

_Love, A—_

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted. A memory. After waiting for so long, he finally remembered something!

"_Keep this, please?" Sendoh, in his usual cheerful psyche, had shoved a box in Rukawa's hand._

"_What on earth is this?" Rukawa blurted, taken completely abashed by the shiny blue box that Sendoh had given him._

"_A present for you, of course." Sendoh replied smugly. "Now, don't ask anything, I just want you to keep it."_

_Their anniversary was more than three months away and both their birthdays will follow soon after. Rukawa threw a suspicious glare at Sendoh before proceeding to open his gift. He tore the shiny blue wrapper anyway and was surprised at the sight of a framed photograph of himself and Sendoh, taken at a flower festival in Tokyo._

"_Akira…You know I don't keep picture frames around the house." Rukawa told the other guy._

"_I know and I'm not expecting you to display it. I just want you to have it. Can't you do that for me?"_

But the picture frame slipped from his grasp and fell once again to the floor as a sharp, searing pain surged through the back of his head. The helpless raven let out an anguished cry. His temples were now throbbing in pain and it was even more painful than the first. He felt like choking. His eyes were not focusing anymore and now, he is in desperate need for air. Though it seemed impossible, Rukawa struggled to bring himself on top of the bed.

_God, please… _he pleaded frantically. The headache was getting unbearable, as if somebody was trying to split his skull into two. He winced as the familiar sensation of nausea kicked in. He simply wanted to surrender to this pain. He thought it would be better if he'll just faint…

Then it happened. His head was spinning wildly. All he saw were alternating flashes of black and white flickering suddenly inside his head.

…There were voices calling out to him just like in his dreams and little by little he began to see familiar faces associated with those voices. They were his family, his friends…

…Then there was Akira, too, yelling his name…

…There were the Christmases they've spent, the one-on-one battles they've enjoyed, and all the tiny grains of memories that affirmed their passion.

The headache came to an end and was replaced by what seemed like a fleeting feeling of calmness.

Rukawa opened his eyes. He realized that the incessant nightmare was over. His whole body was still tensed from exhaustion but an easy feeling of relief overwhelmed him.

_I'm coming back, Akira…_

**o O o**

"Yo, Mr. MVP! Great season!" Miyagi congratulated his captain then extending an arm for a handshake.

"Thanks." Sendoh replied while limply shaking Miyagi's hand. "Congratulations, too."

"You're the MVP, we're champions, but you don't seem happy tonight. And may I add that you don't seem OK at all." Miyagi worried. Sendoh was the type of person who knew very well how to control his mind. When he's playing, he doesn't let himself get distracted by anything outside basketball. Well, tonight was an exception. Thankfully, he managed to keep his senses intact, at least until the big game was over. Now, he has shifted into that distressed mood again.

Sendoh stood up. He swung his duffel bag on his shoulder, ready to leave. "I'm just tired, Miyagi…"

"Hey, you can't leave! The victory party's about to—" the co-captain stopped himself in time. Sendoh was indeed in a bad shape. This was probably because their Coach mandated him to play in every quarter nonstop. "Alright. I'll take care of the explanation." Miyagi decided, while glancing at their other teammates who were too swamped with victory to worry about a single thing.

Sendoh stealthily advanced himself towards the exit, with Miyagi following after him.

"Thanks again, buddy. I'll owe you one." Sendoh gently patted the shorter lad's back while patching his face with a broken smile as soon as the two of them were at Zumiho University's gate. Miyagi just nodded his head.

Evening has fallen and he was on his way to God knows where. He'd been fighting all day to keep himself from crying. And right now, he isn't sure if he'll be able to hold back a little longer.

Sometime after Sendoh had cleared a few yards, he heard Miyagi yell: "Quit punishing yourself, Sendoh! You just won yourself a championship tonight!"

Sendoh felt his chest tighten. _But I lost him again…_

All day, Sendoh had been praying for a miracle. No such thing ever occurred. Every hope and every dream had just been blown away by the wind along with Kaede to America tonight.

**o O o**

He came in too late, the game was over.

The gym was deserted except for few janitors assigned to tidy up the place after the spectators have left.

Rukawa surveyed the gym and got so frustrated that a sudden desire to slap himself overtook him. He shouldn't have gone to Sendoh's house. He could've arrived earlier if he had only remembered about this championship game.

These people here would never be of any help. Sendoh's team doesn't even belong to this school.

"Hey, the gym's about to close…" a young girl in thick horn-rimmed glasses had approached Rukawa from the back. She had a denim baseball cap on her head and a pail in one of her hands. "If you wish for an autograph, you can go straight to that yellow door over there…" the girl said monotonously.

Rukawa's pulse quickened. Without bothering to say thanks, he left the girl and headed straight to the direction she pointed. Soon, he was standing before the door.

Visiting Team:

HINAKO UNIVERSITY

Rukawa knocked gently.

He had waited for a few seconds until a familiar figure opened the door from the side.

It was Miyagi Ryota, his former high school basketball teammate. It was definitely Miyagi, those curly locks were too impossible to miss. Somehow, it amazed Rukawa that he finally remembered.

"Kaede Rukawa?!" Miyagi exclaimed with a surprised look all over his face. "What a surprise! So you're finally back, huh?"

_Finally_. The word echoed in Rukawa's mind. "Miyagi, Is Sendoh in there?"

"Oh, doesn't he know you're coming? He left about half an hour ago." Miyagi frowned. "And you just missed his biggest game, man."

Rukawa didn't know how to respond.

"I think he's gone home. He said he was pretty tired." The shorter man continued, seeing Rukawa's frustrated look.

"Well, thanks. I really need to find him right away."

"You better hurry." Miyagi seconded the idea. "He's acting a bit weird lately, I'm sure he could use a little cheering up."

**O O O**

The park, which had been buzzing with people all day, has now become a perfect place for a few hours of unperturbed solitude.

Tonight, one man was especially grateful for the existence of such a place as this. There he was, nestled under one of the cherry blossom trees, with his arms around his knees just like a scared little boy. He was pouring his heart out by letting all his pains mingle with the tears falling uncontrollably from his eyes.

For a while he sat there, losing all the sense of time. His whole body ached and his thoughts reeled. But then, all these were nothing compared to the turmoil inside of him.

_You abandoned me again… Just like that, without even saying good-bye… _Sendoh talked to himself between muffled sobs. The few weeks that he had spent with Rukawa after the latter's return to Japan came to mind. The short span of time was nothing compared to all those blissful years that they have shared together. And yet, those three short weeks succeeded in breaking the once strong bond that held their hearts so tight.

With that, Sendoh decided to let his heart bleed for the uncertainty of what he's been fighting for.

_But I can bear this pain, Kaede. If this is the only way to keep our love alive…_

More tears clouded his vision. The fangs of reality almost penetrated his soul.

**O O O**

Rukawa was deeply worried. He just hope Sendoh would never attempt anything stupid before he finds _him_.

30 meters to his destination.

Rukawa quickened his steps. He wasn't sure where to look next, but something's telling him he's in the right direction. Otherwise, he'd rather spend the whole night roaming around Kanagawa, searching for Sendoh.

He tried to shake this feeling of anxiousness. He deserved this. In fact, he deserved more for causing this much pain to Akira.

20 meters to his destination.

_I'm coming, Akira… please wait for me… _he repeatedly said in his mind as soon as he beheld the endless lines of cherry blossom trees that seem to welcome him as he passed them by. The wind had brought in the scent of yesteryears. The moon, though not in its fullest radiance, was still the same moon that hovered beyond the clouds when they made their vows. Nothing has changed at all.

10 more meters.

In the darkness of the evening, Rukawa was sure he was seeing a vague outline of a man cowering under one of the cherry blossom trees.

Rukawa ran the rest of the distance.

Surely, it was Akira. This was their favored spot, after all. Rukawa found him frozen under the sturdy tree's shade, his face buried in his hands. _Could he be crying?_

Rukawa inched closer to Sendoh but the latter was still unaware of his company. Rukawa held his breath while kneeling closely to Sendoh's side.

"Akira,"

Startled, Sendoh instinctively lifted his head. If this was just an apparition due to hunger of fatigue, he wasn't quite sure. The next thing he knew, he was already staring intently into those pair of eyes he thought he'd never see again.

Rukawa's hands slowly moved to clasp Sendoh's shoulders. His heart squeezed inside his chest upon seeing Sendoh's bloodshot eyes filled with so much pain. _He had been crying… because of me._

Sendoh was rendered speechless. He opened his mouth but no words ever came out. Instead, they rolled as teardrops down his cheeks. They held each other's gaze for one, sweet moment.

Finally, a burning desire to close in the moving ocean between the shores of their souls cannot be contained anymore.

Rukawa's one hand already found its way around Sendoh's waist, while his other hand succeeded in pulling Sendoh's lips towards his.

Rukawa had kissed Sendoh hard, that the unrestrained intensity of his emotions flowed freely within Sendoh. The latter had generously returned the favor while pulling on Rukawa's hair, completely lost in his own fervor.

Time stood still as they continued to share a kiss fueled by their flagrant longing and rekindled passion.

When the two had pulled away, they were both crying.

"Akira, I'm so sorry…" Rukawa said, cupping Sendoh's face in his hand. "I know I don't deserve this but I hope you can forgive me…"

Sendoh had closed his eyes and while letting Rukawa's words linger on his ears, he wrapped his arms around Rukawa, once again closing the distance between them in a warm embrace. Rukawa too, had hugged him tightly in his arms and Sendoh rejoiced as he savored the familiar feeling of tenderness that only Rukawa's arms could provide.

"I love you, Kaede. And now that you're back, I could never ask for more."

He smiled when he said this, sinking deep into the melody of Rukawa's heartbeat thumping rhythmically with his own.

"I love you too, Sendoh Akira." Rukawa whispered, while planting soft kisses on Sendoh's forehead. "You complete me and I love you more because of it."

A big smile spread across Sendoh's face, something that he hadn't done in ages.

"Know what, Kaede? I've been dying to hear those words from you,"

"Then I'll make sure you'll never miss a day without me showing you how much you mean to me." Rukawa told him.

"Sounds like a great idea."


	6. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

_2 days later…_

It was the first day of summer. Warmer days are up ahead but thankfully, Kanagawa is situated near the sea.

_And how majestic the sea was!_

Sendoh stared far ahead into the vast stretch of blue waters before him. A soft breeze blew against his sun-kissed face. He thought it carried with it the faint songs of distant lands. He watched with such amusement the way big and tiny waves get smacked on the shore and then disappear again.

He sighed. He knew he could watch the sea forever like this but not today. The sun beamed brightly above his head. It was almost noon, but not quite. Tightening his grip on his fishing rod, he hoped that a fish would finally bite his bait so he could go home and prepare lunch for himself and Rukawa.

Minutes later, he heard footsteps from behind him.

Without turning around, he knew it had to be Rukawa Kaede. It was just too unworkable to miss this lad's biting presence. _But he wasn't supposed to be awake until…ah, never mind._

"Akira, you never told me you'd go fishing today. I've been looking for you."

Sendoh was somehow delighted to hear that. But still, he remained motionless in his spot. "Oh, do I still have to tell you? I'm here because I'd like to prepare lunch for _my boyfriend_ but he wasn't supposed to get up until 1 pm. Sleep was his utopia, you know?"

"But _your_ _boyfriend_ just spent the last 3 years of his life in America. He must have outgrown his slothful ways. People change for some reasons and _your_ _boyfriend_ was no exception. You should've considered that." Rukawa said, annoyed that Sendoh wasn't even turning around to face him.

Sendoh abruptly stood up. A fish finally caught in his bait. He pulled his rod and started reeling his catch. "I'm the host and _my boyfriend_ is just my guest. I can do whatever I want without telling him." Sendoh decided to try Rukawa's patience a bit.

Rukawa knew what Sendoh was up to and honestly, he was getting tired of this conversation and all these third person references they had been patronizing.

"Alright. But still you should've left a note or something. Guests don't expect their hosts to disappear all of a sudden."

"Well, you already found me." Sendoh replied, while putting his last catch in the fishing bucket. Rukawa never said anything more, he just stared at his companion severely.

Neither spoke a word for several moments. But when a war waged in silence is fought, the older guy surrenders rather easily.

"So, what can I do for you?" Sendoh inquired good naturedly, countering Rukawa's sharp stare.

Rukawa inched closer to Sendoh, his sever gaze still intact.

"Here," he handed him a white envelope.

"What's this?"

"See for yourself, a'hou."

Sendoh opened the envelope. His eyes widened at what he saw. Two plane tickets to Hawaii! Tonight!

"Kaede, wow. You are so generous…"

"Hey, those weren't yours," Rukawa glared at him some more. _It's payback time. _He secretly enjoyed Sendoh's dejected expression. "I'm just showing them to you."

"Showing them to me?"

Rukawa nodded. "These are for me and for _my MVP boyfriend_. I'm taking him to Hawaii for a vacation. Perhaps you could tell him that I'd pick him up at six?"

Sendoh's confused look slowly melted away. "Six? But the schedule here says the flight's at 10. Aren't we—I mean, the two of you—a little early?"

The raven snatched the tickets from Sendoh's hands. "I simply do not want us to be _late_." He put much emphasis to the last word to make sure the other guy wouldn't miss his point. Without waiting for Sendoh's reply, Rukawa had turned his back on the former and quickly started walking away.

Sendoh was just too amazed to move a muscle. _A vacation in Hawaii? Rukawa is just so romantic in his own special way! _He was snapped away from his trance. He picked up his fishing gears and ran after Rukawa.

"Hey, Kaede, wait up!" Sendoh called. He slid an arm around Rukawa's and the two of them marched happily down the path that leads to Sendoh's abode.

It was a relief to know that time had finally brought back what it fiercely took away. They knew their love was made stronger, and the joy that flourished in their hearts had affirmed that. All fear of an end was entirely replaced by a spectacular view of new beginnings.

And some faraway place like Hawaii must be the best place to start.

--END—

* * *

**Acknowledgement:**

The poem scribbled on the back of Ru's picture frame is owned by Kevin99 of FictionPress. Many thanks, buddy.

And of course,

Thank you, thank you, thank you all for embarking in this journey with me. This fic is finally completed after those three long years, phew! And this would never be made possible without your constant support. School work has deterred most of the task and I deeply apologize to you all.

Also, I want to apologize for such an ending. A lot of things had deviated from the original plan for this fic primarily because I've taken very long breaks in-between uploads. Honestly, I almost forgot the feeling!

It really took time to write the whole thing because I'm not used to writing fics with angsty and dramatic themes. I normally write happy stories and that's why I had to write this epilogue so everyone would have a happy memory of this piece. This is some kind of experimental and I hope you'd still read my future senru fics though this turned out as something dire. Reviews of any kind are welcome as always. Feel free to scream back and amaze yourself!

My next project would be something lighter, with more participation of other characters. And no uploads for me until I finished writing everything so you wouldn't suffer as well!

Thank you again and bless you all! Let's keep the SenRu love alive!

Love,

Lady in Blue.  
Written, one hot summer day of May.


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